Moms are wonderful creatures on earth!!

How many people agree on this?
:)
Mom, sorry for putting you into shame and pain since I was in your womb...
I love you and I know you love me no matter how many times I fail or how many times I put you into trouble. Thank you for your unconditional love.
I am sorry for the harsh words that I have spoken to you, the curses that I have blurted out to you and I am sorry for being so rebellious.
I am sorry for scolding you for whatsoever reasons; I know it's wrong but I just can't control my temper. It hurts to see your face altered.
I am sorry for those despicable words that I have deliberately spoken out to you just to make you feel hurt. Thank you for your unceasing love. Thank you for being so patient with me. Your love to me never ends until the end of the time even when the world caves in.
Sorry for causing so much of troubles,so much of quarrels! If I knew I would cause so much of pain and hurt to you I would kick myself off when I was in your womb. You know it hurts me even more to see you get hurt.
Thanks for your everyday food(they are very good for dad's health and our health although they are tasteless*sorry*), nags(they are annoying but they are for my own good), discouraging comments(You think it's the best way to challenge us to change to be better although we dislike hearing such nasty comments).. Everything that you do is for my own sake.

Mom, I use to pray for you but God is probably sleeping, he doesn't response. I would be glad if he ever makes things better. I am still waiting day-by-day. I can't bear with the pain of separation. I love you and I know you love me more than I love you:)
Mom, be strong, his curses wouldn't bring you to death. You have always been robust. As you believe, God is the one who is taking control of all things. He is a God of righteousness. I love the both of you. Please, think of us. A family needs everyone of us to be called "A family".

I will always remember your wishes- what you want me to become in the future, what you want in the future and where you want me to bring you to in the future. Your wishes are all in my heart:) You mean so much to me and your words mean to me. I will not forget how hard you tried to convince dad to allow me to be in where I am now and the large amount of allowance you give me every month. You will get back twice more than what you have given out. I count my blessings...

~Mummy, I love you~

~Life free from worries is great~

Heart Sze Lynn for being so kind:) She came all the way form Air Itam to fetch me from Jelutong to Gurney coz it was raining quite heavily so I couldn't walk to the bus stop:( When we arrived Gurney, we headed to Big Apples to buy donuts and then to Coffee Bean to have our yummy donuts and coffee. We were supposed to study Accounts but ended up crapping. haha. After that, we went to Celebrity fitness to have our first personal training. It was nice. hehe.
In celebrity fitness:) After taking shower.... Sze Lynn is the one on the right:) I am on the left...
Sorry for the bad capturing skill:P
I was blowing my hair. Ignore the retarded looks, alright?Focus on my fair skin... hehe... Trying my best to be even fairer:) Sze Lynn praised that I am very fair le.. haha.. she saw some parts of my body hahaha....

Yea, I feel so great today:D
No stress at all:)
Feel so fresh after working out:)
College life isn't that bad no more.

Message of the day:
Trying to fit into your environment is far better than complaining about everything all the time.
Ranting is an immature act:)
Always look at the bright side of things and count your blessings all the time:)

How would you feel if you catch your girl friend/boy friend holding hands with another guy/girl? Or someone comes telling you about her/his disloyalty? I'm sure you just wouldn't believe what you have heard or you choose to controvert the truth and run away from reality; because the truth is always cruel, the reality is always callous. What if things that happen are even worse than just simply holding hands? She/he makes out with another guy/girl behind you? Would you still forgive and forget about her/his past? If you are still willing to forgive after all this hanky-panky, you must be totally outta your mind! You are insane! OR, you love her too much to leave her..
Would you lie to someone whom you love wholeheartedly? Is that what you call true love? No! I loathe those who tell lies. Yea, I myself lie sometimes; it's unavoidable. But I am always trying my best to speak the truth. I like being candid.. Although somehow it hurts the people around me.
Once you lie, you have to find other lies to make your lie sound real. You try so hard to convince people about your "true" story. You make another 10 lies to cover your lie.
Do you prefer telling 10 times, 10 lies? or just a time, a truth?

* I am definitely not talking about myself. Just a random thought.

Random thoughts of the day

1. I am so darn fat, my thighs can be a thin girl's waist.
2. I wanna hang out with friends but I don't have enough money and transport.
3. Why do I have to spend 2.5k in just 2 months?
4. I miss someone, I love bullying and shouting at someone!! Because he would never give up loving me :D I love being loved. The feeling is great :)
5. I wanna check out hot dudes!!
6. I am a virgin and proud of it!! hohohooo... I say NO to pre-marital sex. Why do people always think that I have lost my virginity? Come on, I am good at talking about randy stuffs but it doesn't mean that I have done all the randy stuffs:) alright?
7. I am gonna straighten my hair...!! yeah....on Tuesday or Wednesday.

Which do you prefer?

Do you prefer someone who is damn rich but not willing to spend a cent on you or someone who is not rich at all but willing to sacrifice whatever he can for you?
People drift in and out in our life..
Learn how to appreciate the things around you...
They may not be the best but they are worth to be part of your life..
They may not stay long but at least you once own them in your life time.

~Pain and joy of the day~

Look at her, just look at her pretty face!!! hahaha..... I will tell you what happened today!!!
THIS!!is the pain of the day. Sze Lynn and I skipped Accounts class and went for buffet at Seoul Garden. To our utter dismay, the food there was(puke) not delicious and limited:( The tomyam soup was too salty and sour, I couldn't taste tomyam but only salt. We paid so much for it so we had to force our stomach to accept such salty food:( Blame Seoul Garden if I get high blood pressure!!! SADNESS!!! Lunch for RM22.5. The price is alright but not for salt!! We can get one packet of salt for like?? RM2??!
The only thing that I think was nice is the ice cream:) Yummyyy....haha..... Sze Lynn thinks so too:) Look at the picture above, look at the pitiful face, look at how she forced herself to smile and eat:P hahaha
A big "thank you" to Yee Fang for telling us that the Tomyam soup is the best among all!!! I wonder why she didn't mention about the yummy ice cream?? it's far better than the other food:P

Look at the sophiscated looks and equipments:) Sze Lynn and I are officially Celebrity Fitness's members :D We can achieve our dream already(to be slim), YEAh...!!! But the sad thing is that, the membership is quite expensive. Don't talk about a month, let's just calculate for a year. It's gonna cost a lot. We can buy a lot of nice clothes and do Whitening Spa already:( Why did we make such a quick decision? Why didn't we think about the outcomes? I am living so far away from there, paying for the bus fares will make me poor. Well, what's done is done....



I have been very depressed since I came to Penang. It's not because I am far away from home or I have got no friends here...It's just that I feel very empty and bored.
I don't like it here in Jelutong and I don't enjoy being in my college. I personally think that it sucks. This is my choice so I shouldn't be complaining again...
sigh.......
I will feel happy after shopping or seeing things that I like. Even a soft toy can make me feel peace and joyful. At least, it can fill the emptiness in my heart for a few seconds... I have been spending recklessly on things that bring temporary happiness. But it's just temporary, I still have to face with the cruel reality. Where can I find perpetual peace and happiness? Where can I get antidote to cease boredom? I am just empty.
I really really don't like it here..... Life sucks....

hahaha

I am feeling better now! You know why? Coz I have new shirts,bag and a new pair of pants!! Yeah so happy!!!!so happy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And I ate my favourite Tomyam . wakakaka.........
but the happiness won't last! I still have to face reality!!!! I am going to college tomorrow...sad
huhu.....

I am waiting for my hair to grow long...
it's so short
I want it really long!!
I am gonna straighten it after 2 weeks:) yeah....
I did temporary straightening(the pic above)

For your information, I skipped 3 classes on Tuesday because I was dizzy and I suffered from headache.And guess what?
I skipped class again today.
I am sick.
As in, sick of my college.
class starts at 2pm, last trip to college is 8.15am.
what the fuck I dont wanna wait for almost 6 hours to attend just one class!
Kill me,just kill me. I don't fancy the idea of waking up early in the morning to study.By the time I will be too tired to listen. SO I PREFER SLEEPING! I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREW UP MY LIFE BECAUSE THIS IS MY LIFE! REMEMBER??
come on, I am very sick. I can die anytime.
I prefer dying than living since my life is so monotonous.

I HATE DISTED STAMFORD COLLEGE. IT SUCKS! THE HOSTEL LOCATION SUCKS! AND THE CONTRACT IS 6 MONTHS! I WANNA MOVE OUT!!! I AM VERY SICK ALREADY CAN'T YOU SEE THAT? DO YOU HAVE A HEART??

4.8.2008: skipped orientation for fucking driving test.
5.8.2008: first day of college only, I told my parents that I wanted to change college already!!! I had not settled my course fees, just accommodation fees only. They didn't have to heart, they rather let their daughter to suffer than wasting a few hundreds to change me to another college. Now that I have paid for everything and I have been here for more than a month(means NO REFUND anymore) , it's 100% impossible for them to feel my pain and change me to another college. well, I guess my life is meant to be sickening! I will just sleep everyday when I feel like it and dream of being in another interesting college and having fun while studying smart.

4 OR 5 OF MY COURSEMATES CHANGED TO OTHER COLLEGES
AND I?
I am still here in this dang stupid college.
You know what? I really feel like quitting college when my dad challenges me to quit.
WHAT THE FUCK


*Sry for so many vulgar words.You know I need to express my fucking illness

You have no idea how mean I can be
You have no idea how I don't treasure the things around me
And when they leave, I loathe myself for not grasping them until the end of the time.