27/12/2009; 12.45am

Christmas eve sucked and 2009 Christmas sucked.
And then someone blamed me for not being with him on Christmas eve.
So this year instead of having fun with my friends at Genting and KL, I spent my Christmas eve with him at mamak stall eating nasi lemak!
Years before last year I was always busy decorating the church, practising carol and dances. Meaningful yet enjoyable. How I wish I could go back to that time! Seriously, I miss those times in church....
And yes, 2009 Christmas disappointment. Could have been to Genting and KL with friends!

I miss my christian life. Can I transform into a faithful Christian again?
I've been falling.. too deeply...
I'm not like a christian anymore...
I'm an atheist now....

What's religion to me??? STUPIDITY!
You craft an image of a person then start worshipping. hahaha!
Weird, isn't it? Might as well you be the God of that image because you're the one who created it! LOL.
So much of money and effort wasted, for what?
Faith healing purpose only!
zzzzz......

Time flies

Time flies and it does. 2009 is coming to an end.
Sigh, I've grown older again.
If I could stop the time, I wish I had never grown up!
Left a year and 2 months to end my Diploma.
The reality of life will then begin.
Work or pursue degree?
I shudder at the thought of my future.
There are so much of responsibilities, so much of worries, and so much of things I've to figure out. All by myself. Independent.

Speaking of year 2009,
it's neither mundane nor interesting.
I remembered I had a list to be accomplished before 2009 ends.
Here it is:
The green ones were written on 15 December 2008, and the black ones represent my thoughts now.

1. Get thinner(I wanna be 35/24/35), prettier and fairer. So that no one will criticize I am fat again. I've been saying this for a decade! Never succeeded no matter how!
2. Earn a lot of money to go shopping or if possible, buy my own car. ( I wonder how I am gonna do that, my parents and bf doesn't allow me to work. I guess I am just too lucky to have my loved ones to keep me by their sides always.) Yes, I achieved my target! I've a lot of cash in hand and I've got a Myvi from my parents!
3. Get better results and make sure I pass all subjects. Well, so far I passed all! But for the last semester, I am not so sure about Micro Econs! Well, results will be out on January!
4. Start attending church services. Haven't been to church for months. I am a bad girl now:( Pls, lead me back to the right way. Nah, never attended any! LOL

So far only 5 wishes. Hope I can fulfill em'.

Written on December 15 2008.

Well, see......
Fulfilled some!!

I will have a better list next year!!

Weeee~~
Still on my holiday now.....
Everyday sleep until 3pm.....
Wish to go back to penang.....
Sigh~~
miss the place....
moving out next year february... finding a new place ^^

random thoughts

It's my 1 month holiday. I enjoy waking up as late as 2pm everyday.
I'm so bored.
How I wish I could have someone to go travel with me right now.
Sadly, no one. My mom has 2 kids to take care of. I know those kids have grown up, but my mom still treats them as babies and shower them with too much of care which I find annoying!
It's weird to travel with a girl friend and overnight with her right? Unless we got a whole gang of friends together.
Malaysia is a boring place.

I've made up my mind to go overseas to further my studies whenever I get the chance.
My dad suggests that I go to US to complete my last year of studies then get a job over there and don't ever look back.
There's only a reason why I still choose to stay in Malaysia - I think I can't just leave my family behind although I wanna go so so so much....
My mom is sick(mentally and physically), my dad is sick(mentally) and my younger siblings will be sick because they have peculiar parents!
If they were all normal, I would not think twice about my plan to emigrate.

One thing I've learned is that women should never depend on men.
It's a life-learning thing not to have even a little trust on men.
Men are not trustworthy, they are liars; they speak what they're not capable of achieving in order to impress or make you happy; they make you happy for a second and then make you down for the next whole year; they don't care what you care about; they don't understand what you want; they find you when they need you and forsake you when they've things to do; they compare you to other women; they never count their blessings for having you; they don't give you a cent but restrict you from working; they don't surprise you; they're boring, when you talk, they say that you're noisy and when you don't, you feel bored. what can you do? A girl friend tends to share everything with her boyfriend. Just everything, about her lives, about what she's going through, who does she meet, how does she think of people around them. but some guys just can't take it and criticize his girl for criticizing people?
So what are bfs for?
Are bfs not supposed to be their gfs listeners?
Then I'm better off being single.

Speaking of my relationship,
well...
Sometimes what I yearn for is nothing something that he can give.
Things that he can give may not be the ones I want.
Complicated, isn't it?
Well, when I say "things", I don't just mean materials. I mean the care, the way he loves and the way he shows his love to me. Sometimes is not the way I want it to be..........

Promises

People around me tend to break their promises always.
My parents always break their promises. They say something but never do it.
I hate it. If you can't do it, don't ever promise anything. Don't give me hope so that I won't feel disappointed.
There are even more broken promises when it comes to relationship.
"I love you forever and ever", "till love do we part", "I swear I'll be there all the time when you need me till the end".
I just flipped through my diary and found that I was so naive to believe in such promises.
Well, that was a few years ago when I was still in secondary school. Now I don't believe in true love anymore.
Every "I love you" will become every "hurt". 10 I love Us = 10 hurts.
So beware when someone says I love you to you!

Lies.
........................................................................................

= )

It's been long since I last blogged.

yeah, so let me share a bit of my life.

4-6/12/2009

Pc fair!!!
Worked for MoneyKing Online Game on 4th December.
Here are some pictures. I couldn't find my proper shoot. = (

That's me in uniform pulling my skirt = ) LOL

Me registering for new player = )

5-6/12/2009

For some personal reason, I decided to stop working for MoneyKing and work for Kingston for the next 2 days.
It was great. Better salary and easier job scope.
My role was to help customers to redeem their gifts =)


7/12/2009

My birthday, thank you everyone for the birthday wishes. Too many wishes. Don't know how to reply = ) Thanks yeah~~
Nothing special. Because I never treated my birthday as something special. It's just another random day. I don't celebrate. I don't do anything except for shopping alone and got myself a few dresses and a skirt and a new belt. I'm contented although I spent a lot of money that day.
Then night went for BBQ steamboat with my bf...
Ended up got a few burns on my hand because my corn kinda like burst out=.="
What a birthday present!
Pictures later okay. Cuz my bluetooth keeps on failing = (
Well, no surprises as usual. I am used to it anyway = )
No guys ever surprised me. . .
I don't hope too much...

That's all for this time... Pictures of my poor hand will be uploaded soon = )

holiday d...yeah....
today micro paper...
didn't know how to do the essay question! 30 % weih!!! I was counting marks in the exam hall.. i think i cannot get more than 50 %... sure fail d....!!!
I need to get around 60 in order to pass.....
hai~~~
god bless me okay....

now i m free... to shop and do whatever i like....
= )
yeppy~

Relax

Went to Queensbay to watch 2012 just now...
@@"
This week is exam week.
Done 3 papers, 1 more to go, which is Micro.
= ( tired...
I sleep only 5 hours everyday this week. Not for studies, but for some fun online...games, forums, facebook~
So tired now...
I thought I could rest after Micro paper but no, I have to go Genting at night = (

Well, nothing much to blog about recently as nothing interesting ever happened.
The thing I'm very upset about is that I realised that I'm ageing = ( How sad.. My upper eyelids are becoming more and more saggy. The same goes to my eye bags. Well, they aren't too obvious though. But they look swollen every morning. Damn it!
I still remembered that my face used to be really oily and have lotsa pimples.
But my face is dehydrated now because I'm ageing! but no more pimples.
I'm going to take good care of my skin before it's too late! Seriously!
I think the reason why my upper lids are a bit yellowship is because last time I used to work as a beauty consultant and was forced to apply eyeshadow. I didn't remove my make up sometimes! hahahaa. Just washed with facial wash.
Uh, job obligation. What to do? I admit that my make-up skills suck and always got complaint from colleages about not putting enough of make up or my eyeshadow colours are not applied evenly. LOL


My friends always ask me on MSN about the skin care I use. And people always say that I apply very thick layer of make-up, that's why my skin is so fair! @@
So here it goes,
Um, skin care?? basically nothing right now. Nothing for a few months d. Cuz nothing seems to suit me. I'll try hunting for something!

When I go out, I apply
lotion or sunscreen. NO foundation, NO powder, NO eyeliner(I ban eyeliner), NO eyeshadow! The most is mascara, but rarely.. Believe it, I bought a small tube of mascara since I was in form 4, and I'm using it till now! Like today, I applied sunscreen and covered my dark circles with bb cream before going out. Refer to picture above = ) Not even mascara. Like naked! So please don't say that I apply very thick of make-up kay = ( I don't, and I don't like to be blamed.

When I go shopping, I apply
Lotion or sunscreen and use bbcream to cover my dark circles, cuz I'm very stingy okay, I don't wanna spend money on concealer. LOL. Sometimes I do apply bb cream over my whole face, but rarely because my skin gets too dry after applying any cosmetics.

When I work, I apply,
Lotion or sunscreen or Bb cream. and yea, mascara and a lil bit of blusher. Cuz scared agents scold me why don't bother to make up.

That's all = ) So you call that heavy? = ( uh~