It's late.

It's late now. 12.18am.
I'm feeling empty, lost, scared, and just cold.
I wanna know what's wrong with me?
Why am I not afraid of death at all?
Why am I so pessimistic about the world, my life and just everything around me?
It's creepy, I can feel the emptiness in my heart. It's creeping my heart outta me.
I wonder, when can I find real happiness?
It's been too long since I ever felt occupied.
Nobody knows how it feels.
Nobody knows what I'm going through.
Because I remain silent, and I choose to conceal my sadness.
Yes, I try not to complain about anything anymore, because there are much more people in this world, suffer more than I do. My pain is not painful.

Sigh...
I need real happiness.
I need to feel secured and loved.
I demand for nothing more than just love.
Love me, care for me, shower me with attention.
That's all I want now.
I'm not just talking about relationship love.
I'm talking about an an awesome love from God, from my parents, and lastly, from a man whom I can trust in.