random thoughts

It's my 1 month holiday. I enjoy waking up as late as 2pm everyday.
I'm so bored.
How I wish I could have someone to go travel with me right now.
Sadly, no one. My mom has 2 kids to take care of. I know those kids have grown up, but my mom still treats them as babies and shower them with too much of care which I find annoying!
It's weird to travel with a girl friend and overnight with her right? Unless we got a whole gang of friends together.
Malaysia is a boring place.

I've made up my mind to go overseas to further my studies whenever I get the chance.
My dad suggests that I go to US to complete my last year of studies then get a job over there and don't ever look back.
There's only a reason why I still choose to stay in Malaysia - I think I can't just leave my family behind although I wanna go so so so much....
My mom is sick(mentally and physically), my dad is sick(mentally) and my younger siblings will be sick because they have peculiar parents!
If they were all normal, I would not think twice about my plan to emigrate.

One thing I've learned is that women should never depend on men.
It's a life-learning thing not to have even a little trust on men.
Men are not trustworthy, they are liars; they speak what they're not capable of achieving in order to impress or make you happy; they make you happy for a second and then make you down for the next whole year; they don't care what you care about; they don't understand what you want; they find you when they need you and forsake you when they've things to do; they compare you to other women; they never count their blessings for having you; they don't give you a cent but restrict you from working; they don't surprise you; they're boring, when you talk, they say that you're noisy and when you don't, you feel bored. what can you do? A girl friend tends to share everything with her boyfriend. Just everything, about her lives, about what she's going through, who does she meet, how does she think of people around them. but some guys just can't take it and criticize his girl for criticizing people?
So what are bfs for?
Are bfs not supposed to be their gfs listeners?
Then I'm better off being single.

Speaking of my relationship,
well...
Sometimes what I yearn for is nothing something that he can give.
Things that he can give may not be the ones I want.
Complicated, isn't it?
Well, when I say "things", I don't just mean materials. I mean the care, the way he loves and the way he shows his love to me. Sometimes is not the way I want it to be..........