Depression

I'm online alone in a cafe nearby my house. I have a cup of black milk tea beside me. I'm not lonely.
I'm depressed. My heart is empty. Who's there to fill my empty cup? I find no one.
I'm depressed. I find no trustworthy and true friends to share my agony. I cannot even share my pain to my bf. Somehow I would think, what is a bf for when you cannot even share your pain to him. I struggle to articulate my thoughts. I'm a weirdo. It's my problem.
I have no one to communicate with. Maybe that's the way I choose to be.
At times I feel like dying, because this world is no longer a good place to live.

I want everything to be better, but I still choose to remain in the worst.
I'm a weirdo.